Live Like No One’s Watching

On the darkest of nights

I have sat on the cliff of my own sanity

As the stars waited

Like king’s men for me to shatter

The moon was full with hysteria 

It cried a healing balm on my skin

Most humans only feel upon death

And the waves of madness I wanted to jump into

Felt more like home 

Than this place ever has 

Truth is,

My mother gave birth to a stick of dynamite 

Who will never trust her opinions

But finds prophecy in the crackle of thunder

And proof that storms are predetermined

Or will at least whisper to me they’re coming

And on these nights,

I would cry a river of unreleased words

Damned by my teeth

Cradling my pain like a newborn 

I walked a thin line of hypocritical schisms

Hated what I adore

Questioned my own questions

Feared God enough to believe in nothing

Too self righteous and insecure

To accept everything I disdained about myself

Was proof of his existence 

Like a tornado chaser

Chaos is so incomparably beautiful

When you stop running from it

I know there is no redemption

To be found in your perceptions

I stopped searching for forgiveness

In the murky waters 

Of someone else’s ego

I may be a lot of things

But enough will never be one of them

Still I am finding the courage

To live like no one’s watching

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